Nick Jackson

UML is horrible, cludgy, trying to be all things to all men, and all in all an over-complicated method of shoehorning an OO system into a non OO modelling framework.

It’s the kind of thing that actually gets in the way of real work, the type of thing generated by some consultant ’systems analyst’ to make the development team stop programming and document the system using a godawful syntax. Then the ‘consultant’ can look at the UML diagram and say “here’s your problem, this arrowhead should be filled in” when in fact the only reason it isn’t is because the developers couldn’t give two shits if the arrowhead is filled, hashed, open, closed or even pointing to the right place.

Seriously, I’ve spent longer trying to draw the UML than I would have taken to just write the damn program. Even in COBOL.

At the risk of feeling the wrath of the Drama Society presidents, I feel obliged to comment about some of the acting.

With less than a week to go until the first performance of our Pantomime (As an aside, we still don’t have all the sets painted, and I don’t know what I’m doing!), some of the roles would be better played by Keanu Reaves. Now by training I am a techie with lighting as a specialist subject, but I have walked boldly across enough stages in my time to say that I could do a better job in some of the roles. I sincerely hope to God that this is only due to the lack of stage and audience, because if not the production will be ranked somewhere between Gigli and the icky black stuff on the bottom of our still-drying flats.

All that said, if you don’t mind a mildly poor script with a spattering of highlights and are happy to drink sufficient alcohol that you’ll find the endless penis jokes (Yes, I’m looking at you, the American Football team!) funny, then come and see it. Posters are around the Uni, tickets are on sale, and to be perfectly honest you’re not going to have anything better to do on a Monday/Friday/Saturday evening before the clubs open.

Editor’s Note: Yes, I know the above paragraph is phrased so it sounds like the American Football team are the penis jokes. I’ll leave it to other people to work out how valid that statement is.

I’ve passed my first Creative Technology assessment (See one/zero/one/four) with 72% - another First (Although closer to the line than the 92% in CMP1017)! I think I should go out to celebrate, I don’t have to be anywhere until 11.00 tomorrow.

In other news, Leafblower Man is back. I’m gonna start being physically violent soon. I don’t enjoy being woken at 6.30 by a 2-stroke petrol engine.

I’ve passed my in-class test for Data, Networks and The Web with 92%, which is a very comfortable first. Now all I’ve got to do is pass the rest of the assessments this year.

This lecture lasts for ever,
I want to go back to my bed.
Boredom.

The slides I cannot hope to see,
Blue on black is a poor contrast.
Ouch.

Writing haikus is easy,
You just stop at the seventeenth
Sylla.

WiFi does not work today,
Making using Blackboard hard.
Bugger this.

He is using black on black,
Impossible to see.
Please make it stop.

One zero zero one zero one,
Zero one one zero.
Zero.

I’ve joined two (Yes, two!) societies here at Lincoln. V-GAS (The Video-Gaming Appreciation Society) and the Drama Society. Thieving bastards, £5 for V-GAS and £20 for Drama. Apparently I get a free t-shirt though, so it must be worth it.

I also think I’m the only person who understands savoury mince. When I cooked it today, people just looked at me blankly and said “Meh? What’s savoury mince?”. When I explained it, people went “Oh, bolognese!” and I had to respond with something along the lines of “No, it’s not bolognese! If it was bolognese I would have said bolognese! It’s savoury mince!”

Foreigners.

I’ve been forced to create a new blog for one of my units at Uni. If you’re interested, all my Creative Technologies work will end up at a new blog called one/zero/one/four. Of course, this blog will stay here as my personal one.

In other news, the internet connection at Brayford Quays is terrible. I get dropped connections, DNS resolution errors and more without any real support from MCW! Bah.

The self-checkout machines at the uni library are amazing - you can just take a mountain of books and the machine will check them all out for you.